Guided By Shawn Bowers A complete analysis of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers series from start to finish, featuring quotes, questions, ponderings, humiliations, radical happenings and more. THE EPISODE GUIDE TO EXPERIENCE EPISODES FROM BEGINNING TO END, JUST LIKE YOU WERE THERE. WATCH ALONG IF YOU’VE GOT NETFLIX, YOU CAN WATCH ALONG WITH THE WORDS YOU’RE READING. IT MAY MAKE IT BETTER OR WORSE. var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-12897369-4']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); Tumblr (3.0; @letswatchpowerrangers)http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64q3jNO3t1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64q3jNO3t1qljl5vo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64q3jNO3t1qljl5vo3_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><p class="p1">The episode ends with the most dramatic To Be Continued ever.  Jason is trapped in Goldar’s Rape Coin Prison, paws in the air, about to be sworded to death.  I’LL JUST ASSUME THIS IS THE END OF THE SERIES AND THAT IT’S ALL OVER, THANKS.</p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786424313http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786424313Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:06:55 -05001x18“I may still toy with you before I dispose of you, but then again I may not!”<br/><br/> - <em><p class="p1">Goldar, not as experienced in prison banter as he’d make you believe.</p></em>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786364467http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786364467Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:05:52 -05001x18<p>The Rangers start battling Tommy because they get their shit together, but Tommy shows that he has his OWN Robot Godzilla.  He calls Robot Godzilla with a Flute and then they all fight like normal. </p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786332288http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786332288Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:05:12 -05001x18<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pzfWrPB1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><p class="p1">I stopped giving a hoot the minute the Megazord used the Mastadon head as a shield for the first time.  I stopped giving any hoots about anything else.  Zord Logic is out the window in favor of me loving this.  </p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786298213http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786298213Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:04:27 -05001x18<p><p class="p1">The Rangers get their shit together and start battling Tommy and, because they&#8217;re smart, they call out the Megazord.  But…um…hello?  How can you form the Megazord if you don&#8217;t have Jason?  You&#8217;re missing a whole big chunk of Zord body.  </p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786279737http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786279737Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:04:08 -05001x18<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64py0y0OK1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64py0y0OK1qljl5vo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><p class="p1">Jason does battle with Goldar with muscles exposed, but Goldar takes a weird turn and tells Jason that he’s now his slave and was a gift from Rita.  Goldar doesn’t even want to fight him.  He just throws him down and tells him he’s his plaything.  Someone’s going to get raped.  </p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786257876http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786257876Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:03:36 -05001x18<p><p class="p1">Back at the Command Center, Billy&#8217;s gotten shit working again (kind of) and the other Rangers were able to track down the Green Ranger.  They&#8217;re all mopey because they can&#8217;t find Jason, because they&#8217;re supper whipped, and they don&#8217;t want to go into battle without him.</p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786183081http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786183081Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:02:25 -05001x18<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64putApCq1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><p class="p1">And Goldar has his morphing coin and carrying case!  Jason’s battle is with LITERALLY EVERYTHING!</p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786138754http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786138754Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:01:41 -05001x18<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64ptqa0o81qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><p class="p1">Jason’s trapped in a coin prison!  A prison in a coin!  His watch won’t call his friends either!  </p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786096841http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786096841Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:01:02 -05001x18<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64prqrKCw1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64prqrKCw1qljl5vo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64prqrKCw1qljl5vo3_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64prqrKCw1qljl5vo4_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><p class="p1">Oh shit.  Ohshitohshitohshitohshit.  Jason just got hit in the back with a green coin beam!  And then he disappeared!  </p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786047292http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25786047292Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:59:50 -05001x18<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pn3qiUa1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pn3qiUa1qljl5vo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pn3qiUa1qljl5vo3_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><p class="p1">Rita gives Tommy another bullshit challenge where he has to beat a bunch of Putty on a beach in order to earn the Sword.  Like…get over it, Rita.  He already beat some dudes in an alley to get the coin, now he has to beat some dudes on a beach to get the sword.  HE’S YOUR ONLY CANDIDATE.  JUST HIRE HIM.</p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785908109http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785908109Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:57:03 -05001x18Tommy: Newsflash Kimberly: you are not the center of everyone's universe.<br /> Kimberly: Well excuse me for living.http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785841357http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785841357Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:55:52 -05001x18<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pibdKhr1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pibdKhr1qljl5vo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pibdKhr1qljl5vo3_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><p class="p1">Kimberly confronts Tommy for ditching her on their date.  As far as reasons to ditch a date, getting recruited by an evil space empress to be a soldier in an ongoing superhero war is pretty good.  Also, from his shirt, it looks like he just got back from a gym scrimmage on Team Rufio.  </p> <p class="p1">Kimberly, you can do better.  Billy’s right there for you.  I keep wanting this to happen, but it won’t happen.  Kimberly will never be interested in a nerd like Billy</p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785769945http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785769945Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:54:00 -05001x18“All I know for sure is I’d like to get my hands on this guy!”<br/><br/> - <em>Jason, just let the guy battle already!</em>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785697937http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785697937Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:52:57 -05001x18“Man I wish I knew who this green guy was. I can’t get him off my mind!”<br/><br/> - <em>Jason, still really battling!</em>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785667926http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785667926Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:52:19 -05001x18<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pe9fdpd1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pe9fdpd1qljl5vo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64pe9fdpd1qljl5vo3_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><p class="p1">Bulk and Skull stumble across Tommy in an alley (the same alley from last episode where apparently it was really cheap to shoot across multiple days and stuff).  They’re all pissed because of last episode when Tommy did high kicks to scare them, but Tommy uses Adobe After Effects to scare them away again.  They wind up in a dumpster like a bunch of pussies.</p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785646311http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25785646311Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:51:45 -05001x18<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64omsWNR31qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><p class="p1">Rita gave the Green Ranger the Evil Sword of Darkness.  MORE ZORDON HISTORY: When the Evil Knight defeated Zordon back thousands of years ago, the sword was taken from him and presented to Rita as a prize.  As long as nobody destroys it, it’ll keep the Green Ranger hypnotized forever, which is a pretty hot system.  I’d marry a celebrity and then give her the Evil Sword of Darkness and then she’d never be  able to divorce me, which is what Lyle Lovett did to Julia Roberts.  I think we ALL remember THAT event THAT happened.  </p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25784854085http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25784854085Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:35:16 -05001x18<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64o78Mr1d1qljl5vo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m64o78Mr1d1qljl5vo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><p class="p1">No joke, Alpha is fudged up hard.  Look at this business.  </p> <p class="p1">Luckily, Billy’s doing double laser surgery on him like a Nazi scientist.  </p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25784415153http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25784415153Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:25:56 -05001x18“Man I wish I could get my hands on this Green Ranger dude.”<br/><br/> - <em>Jason, battling.</em>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25784358564http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25784358564Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:24:50 -05001x18<p><p class="p1">The Rangers are all reeling in the Command Center, trying to figure out what the hell they&#8217;re going to do with themselves now that Zordon is lost and Alpha has a virus and whatever.  I&#8217;d be getting all emo right now if my tube master had been destroyed too.</p></p>http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25784337329http://letswatchpowerrangers.tumblr.com/post/25784337329Sun, 24 Jun 2012 10:24:22 -05001x18